I’ve really enjoyed this exercise- its created perspective for me. Still have a way to go but in many ways I feel I have taken a first step towards a goal I have always wanted but didn’t know how to get to.
What have I gained?
A much greater sense of awareness of my behaviour and others behaviours that I didn’t have before. I am so aware now and questioning more than ever.
A strength I didnt know I had by speaking my truth in moments where I would usually make up excuses.
A huge sense of belonging with my philosophy group- this had been a big one for me. It was lacking in my life.
The beginnings of clarity in certain aspects of my life.
A greater sense of Self and discovering who I really am- first baby steps.
Asking myself the really hard questions.
What have I lost?
The first step in losing the constant and crippling need to please everyone around me at the expense of myself.
The need to always say yes.
A tad of the anxiety I live with. Noticing subtle changes.
Certain types of attachments- realizing that stuff is just stuff and not getting sucked into the keeping up with the Jones mentality and comparing with the ‘perfect’ around me.
What have I put down?
Guilt- the first step in putting it down and letting it go. I am aware of it.
I am not perfect and that is ok- I can make mistakes. Putting down the pressure to be perfect.
Working on the idea that if I have a bad day and don’t practice my exercises that it’s ok and I havent failed- every day is a fresh day ( wise words from a wise lady 😘 )
The way I am so hard on myself. To be more gentle and accepting of myself.
Philosophy has really opened my eyes to the possibilities of living a life of peace and purpose and chaos doesn’t have to reign. I have so enjoyed this year and want to thank my tutor from the bottom of my heart for her kindness and wisdom.
I look forward to continuing the journey
Deanne Allen